I'll Give You the Most Rotten One

After 10 years together, my boyfriend cheated on me with another woman. I was devastated and decided to get revenge. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. So I carefully planned the perfect way to get back at him. I knew it would be the worst thing I could ever do to him, but I didn't care. I was so angry and hurt that I just wanted to make him feel the same way. Our relationship was already over, but this was the final nail in the coffin. Now, we're both left wondering if we'll ever be able to love again. I don't know if I can forgive him, but I know that I can't live like this. I need to find a way to move on, even if it means hurting him in the process. I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but I can't help myself. I'm so angry and hurt that I just want to make him feel the same way. I know that this isn't the answer, but it's all I can think of right now. I'm so lost and confused, and I don't know what to do. I just want to feel loved again.\r\n\r\nI just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask?